Posted by Kim on March 23, 2000 at 17:39:27:
In Reply to: how do we go on posted by joanne on January 18, 19100 at 21:42:38:
Joanne,
I lost my husband too, not because of a death, but of a divorce. I lost him "emotionally", and someone whom once I thought of loving me the rest of my life - and thought he does the same for me is not here anymore.
I am feeling the EXACT same way as you do, trying to put on a good front, reading books, going to Church and praying,& praying - but still every moments is a battle. Believe me, it is not only widows or widowers....No matter what circumstance we have to deal with, losing a family member is the MOST painful thing one could ever ever going thru.
"Freinds don't care" - you mentioned; Joanne, I do understand that feeling very very much.
I felt the exact same way. Sometimes, I still do. But I begin to realize now that w/o going through a similer expreience of own, it is VERY difficult for anyone to associate the pain that we are going through. For instance, my co-woker or freinds may tell me "find something you could devote or occupy yourself...so that you don't have to think, think, and think all the negative stuff so much". But when we are going through such a trauma of our life, how could "anything" ever occupy our mind?? When they tell me such thing, I just tell myself that they could not possibly know what I am going through now as they never had to go through the same thing. But it does not mean they don't care - just that they tell you things "within" the experiences / knowledge they have...that is all.
Same as that I could associate with you the lonliness, isolation and withdrawal from being alone again. But losing someone forever while both you & your husband DID love each other, that part of tragety you are going through, I could only guess as I don't have the same experience.
I do believe however, EVERYTHING happnes for a purpose. I do not know the plan God have for me or you. But please just think about this....I went through this trauma, so that at least I could associate with other people's pain in the similer situation, so could you. And I pray for all people in this site who are in pain, & suffering as much as I am or even more. This is my favorite verses I have in my bed room, and I would like to share with you.
"For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord. "They are plans for good, and not for the evil; to give you a future and hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)
May God be with you at all time....
Kim