Posted by Brandy on September 08, 2002 at 23:11:12:
In Reply to: Re: widow at 28 posted by Shelly on July 30, 2002 at 01:57:25:
I am the one who you replied to. It has now been over 3 months and I am still alive, however, I do have my days where I have considered ending all of my suffering. Things seem to be okay for a few days then something triggers inside of me and I fall to pieces. I was not with Steve when he died yet I have nightmares at night which are as detailed as if I were with him during that tragic time. I try to think of things matter of fact but that doesn't keep for long before my emotions take over. I am thankful Steve didn't suffer and thankful for many other things. I do know that others have it much worse. I still feel as if there is no way Steve is actually out of my life forever. The pain is overwhelming and at times I wonder why suffer. If it were not for my 2 children I would not be here so I do know they are gifts from God and my reason for being here. I just hope Heaven is as wonderful to Steve as he deserves.