Posted by Bud on September 09, 2001 at 05:50:35:
In Reply to: I am alone with a toddler who has never met his Daddy posted by Helen England on April 13, 2001 at 17:17:40:
I am sorry to read of your loss. I also am in a similar situation. My wife was 27 years old and 7 months pregnant when she had a brain anurism. The doctors were able to save my son but not my wife.
We had been married for only 3 years but had been together for almost seven. She was my LIFE. What should have been the most beautiful day of my life became the worst day, when my son was born. Like you, I was cheated of the joy most people have when a child is born. Raising my son became a chore because I was living in a fog of disbelief.
Now that he is a little older thing have improved. He is my little buddy. I now feel less sorry for myself and more sorry for him. His mommy was a beautiful loving person and he will never experience this. It is hard to explain to a 4 year old, were his mommy is at. I tell him she is with God in heaven. In his mind she is up in the sky. He told me one day that he missed her and when he gets bigger he is going to get in a plane and go see her.
It does get easier with time, but I still do not go more than an hour without thinking of her. I am not very religous so it is harder for me to understand why this must happen. It is lonely, but I try to focus on my son. Everything I do for him, I see as a tribute to my wife.
You can get through this. You are stronger than you believe. Feel free to E-Mail if you need to talk. I did not know about this web sight until recently. I visit it occaisionly to let people know they are not alone in what they are feeling and that you can make it through the terrible loss.
Bud