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Posted by John Chittock on August 24, 2001 at 09:11:23:

In Reply to: COMPLETE SHOCK RECENTLY WIDOWED posted by SANDRA on May 03, 2001 at 16:56:17:

Dear Sandra - I grieve for you and yet have to face the real shock. My wife of 55 years of perfect marriage (yet we are still young and have been very active
for our age - suffered a heart attack nearly three weeks ago but is still alive in a state of bare semi-consciousness at times. Unlike you, we have no children
but we have worked together all of our lives and grown together almost as one person. I am in a similar state to you - namely with children, for you there is no
third way; for me, as long as my dear wife is alive, I must be there to do whatever I can (which is very little) - and of course never sure if she will recover
consciousness, which fearfully I now doubt after nearly three weeks.

I cannot offer much comfort, because like you I am shattered, my life has now become meaningless, yet I must remain by her side as long as she lives. We have
been the most extraordinary couple and although I find it hard to have faith in God, I find it even harder now when such a cruel blow can be struck.

There probably is no answer to your suffering, except in your case as your children grow older I hope you will find a new focus in life, admiring them and remembering
that they are a part of your dear husband. I do hope you get over your grief. For myself, I am distraught beyond belief, but I fear that is life and there are always
others who have much worse tragedies. I am in England, don't know where you are, but if you feel like phoning my UK number is 020 7580 1502. Thank heavens for having
good friends around me and I am sure you have the same. God bless and try not to dwell - focus on your children.

Warmest regards,
John Chittock

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