Posted by Marie on August 22, 2001 at 05:00:54:
In Reply to: My Best Friend..... Ahhhh... why? posted by KD Bosch on August 21, 2001 at 22:57:06:
Please don't be sorry that you may have not said the right things....or didn't make anyone feel better by your words. I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago from cancer. I have two small children...and I used this site quite a bit just to vent. I felt at ease just saying what I wanted to say....knowing I wasn't burdening anyone with my grief. I can't tell you how many nights I spent pouring my heart out over this keyboard....not to mention the tears. There was a point when friends and family stopped talking about him....I know it was because they didn't want to upset me....but what they didn't realize was that I NEEDED to talk about him. I hurt more when everyone else seemed to go on with their lives and I was still living in the past. I eventually found out that keeping things inside...and trying to keep it together.....was only a way to prolong the grief I was feeling. I thought if I pushed it away long enough...the pain would pass and I'd be alright. But it doesn't work that way. The more you push it away...the stronger the wave will be when it finally hits. And trust me....it'll hit. After 2 1/2 years....the waves still come......the only difference being that I'm stronger now...and able to endure each one a little bit better.
There's a quote I like...."Time isn't the healer....love is." The love from my children and family and friends is what's gotten me through this.....not time. I know you'll find the same is true for you.
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