Posted by David on August 03, 2001 at 00:16:42:
In Reply to: Where to go from here? posted by Theresa on August 01, 2001 at 09:49:35:
I hear your questions. They need to be asked, let out to either find detail in the light or wither, found unnecessary.
My wife passed from this life. I know of your pain... and your asking... and your wanting to bury the feelings.
I hear the voice asking, "Was it wasted, this time spent?" You asked of the wisdom in leaning so heavily on another.
I heard the voice within me ask the same. I know the answer lies in the life shared. For me, as I am sure for you, the answer to this YES.
My life is because of her. Our time spent together formed the man I am today.
Your life, in time, will find meaning. You will find your way. Like sailors coming home from a long voyage, we survivors must learn... relearn to walk on the land... this new land, undiscovered, vast... and frightening. And we take those steps alone, sometimes for the first time.
At times on the mountain, I find my footsteps falter... the loose rocks shift under my step and I slide backward. My forward progress is only momentarily halted though... I look for firmer footing and climb. I do not lament the lost step... It was not "lost"... for after it, followed another and another and I moved closer to the summit. Stumbles are just that... temporary slowing of our obvious progress. We are movers... and survivors. It is our doggedly placing one foot in front of the other, sometimes in anger... sometimes in defiance... that defines us, makes us who we are. And everyone is watching. We are the ones who move up the mountain the fastest... over the most difficult of routes. Spectators watch... arm chair quarterbacks... cheering, jeering. God has placed in us sure footedness... to show others the path. You are the blazer of trails... the forger of roads through choking vines of confusion... across rivers of despair... up mountains of pain. Your fingers bleed,cut by the rough surface, the hard climb. Your eyes are blurred, blinded by pictures of unspeakable horror... But you see... you look... you search and find your way. Others will follow your footsteps... some in the very impressions you make in the sands... others following your general direction, your movement in their stride.
Walk proud. Walk bold. Walk brave.
You are all three!
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