Posted by David on March 11, 2001 at 19:02:53:
I was cleaning out my bedroom...Linda's and my bedroom...and came upon our wedding photos. She was so beautiful. I can scarcely imagine what she saw in me...she was beauty defined. The look in her eyes...she wanted to be there...with me! I was loved. Her smile, her glow, the way she held my arm...I know, just by looking at the pictures, what love is. I see what it looks like. I held it in my arms... but for a time...a brief, fleeting moment. She was like a shooting star...white hot, blazing across my field of blue. She illuminated my world...a flashbulb...my life caught, frozen in timeless joy. I weep...thankful for the remembering...saddened by the reality. I can never share the remembering with her. Rocking chair memoirs will never be exchanged. She will never be able to see our girls in the laughter of their children. "Remember when" has been stolen from me...my history, gone.
My broken heart heals after the removal of the bandage...the wound seeps. Linda's presence scours the dead flesh from me. The recognition of her love, anew, closes the sore, soothes the pain.
God brings me here to test my find against the ideal. I am grateful for the sanity of my insanity; the wind blows my ship in the right direction, for I am not at the rudder, the helm manned by the wind. He sends the breeze that propels me on. My eyes provide the ocean on which I sail...a sea of tears...my sobs, the gale.
I am stronger at the end than in the beginning...tempered by the searing in my chest. I should be as hard as steel by now...she keeps me vulnerable...able to feel.
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