Posted by Judy on December 01, 2002 at 07:54:33:
I lost the love of my life on September 22, 2002, the day before my birthday. He was a wonderful man, and we loved each other so. We know each other for 25 years, and we lived together for the last 7. He was everything I ever wanted in a man and more. We fit together like a hand in a glove. However, he was married to someone else and he would not divorce her.
He died of a brain tumour, he was working on the wiring in our garage, I walked away for a second and I heard the ladder fall, I ran back and found him flat on his back staring at the ceiling, not moving or responding in any way. The rescue squad took him to the local hospital and they medivaced him to a trauma center. His family threw me out of the hospital after they were called and I never got to see him again until he died the next night. They called to tell me he was dying and I could come say goodbye. I got 15 minutes to tell him everything I wanted to tell him. It wasn't enough. I couldn't go to the funeral, I couldn't stand to see him in an urn and know that all the decisions about what happened to him were taken out of my hands. But I guess it was what he wanted because he never took any action to make it different.
Now I am all alone. All his stuff is gone, I took his clothes to the Salavation Army, his car, his computer and all his paper went to his family. All I have is memories of what used to be.
I have his pictures all over the house and I talk to him all the time. But lately I don't feel his presence here, I did for the first couple of weeks, but not now. And now when I need people the most, noone calls, noone comes by. Everyone is back to their own lives and I'm here all alone.
It is going to be a long, cold, dark winter, and I feel like spring will never come.