Posted by Nicole on October 30, 2002 at 04:03:08:
Hi, I've never posted here- never had a reason to- until this weekend. My 25 year old cousin died this weekend- she was only 4 years older than me- has a 6 year old son, a husband, and now she's gone. We were never really had a close relationship- I don't have a very close relationship in general with that side of the family, but Amy and I had just started calling eachother every so often because our grandpa is sick and has about 6 months to live. She died of cardiac arrest- She had a bad heart, had open heart surgery at 14 or 15, and the doctors told her to NEVER get pregnant. She had Cody when she was 18. She was then told again to never ever get pregnant, had another heart surgery when Cody was about 4. Two months ago, she got pregnant. She and her husband thought for sure that they wouldn't be able to have the baby, but the doctors put her on a different medicine than her regular blood thinner meds... I am still not sure the complete cause of her death, it was just so extremely sudden. Its heartbreaking- I didn't know her that well, but we were getting to know eachother- she and Gary were just over at my house three weeks ago at a bonfire, and she was fine. Now she's gone. I am coping fine- I am fine, until I think about how awful it has got to be for Gary and their little boy Cody. The funeral is this weekend, and I want some advice. I don't really know how to handle her death around the family- I know they are all terribly shaken, and I expect the funeral to be awful because of the suddenness of her death. What do I say? How do I act to them? I know that nothing I say can help, but I don't want to say nothing? Any of you who have lost a spouse- what helps? What did you most want to hear? I just wish that there was something I could say, do? I just don't understand why God would take her so young- why would the doctors let her go through with the pregnancy??? It is just awful. I just UGHHHH..... CAn anyone give me advice? It would be appreciated so much! Thanks, Nicole