Posted by Kelly on June 20, 2002 at 04:52:32:
In Reply to: Re: widow at 28 posted by Debbie-Tim's wife on June 18, 2002 at 21:16:38:
Dear Debbie, I feel your pain although I have no real answer as to how to get through it. I too lost my husband, he was 27 and died on May 2, 2002 in a car accident on his way to work. I am 28 and we have a six year old son, a 2 year old daughter and I am 6 months pregnant with our second son. Life is very surreal now, I feel as if I live in two worlds, the one I was supposed to have and the one that has been forced upon me. I know that the question "why?" is something that you can totally consume yourself with. I still can't believe he is gone. He will never see his baby son and our other two miss him dearly. He was also a great father, my best friend and life is very lonely. It is very hard to get through each day but regardless of the difficulties each day stubbornly comes and goes. NOthing stops because my heart is crushed and nothing stops because my children lost their father. The only peace I have found is to cry when the tears come, allow yourself those moments. It has been a month and a half since Carlton died and I cry at least twice a day, usually while my children are sleeping. How old are your children? My six year old understands somewhat, but my 2 year old asks for her daddy everyday. It breaks my heart to see that look in her eyes, it must be the same look she sees in mine. I had 2 semesters to finish to get my teaching degree and I too feel that I was very busy with things that do not seem important to me now. I am so willing to talk with you if you like. As supportive as my friends and family are, they do not truly understand. Only someone who has experienced a loss as devastating as this can relate. Feel free to email me anytime. Kelly