goodbye my everything

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Posted by Eric's wife Heather on December 10, 2001 at 22:04:45:

for my husband Eric, who after a long struggle died November 30

Nothing could have prepared me my love
for the agony of missing you
It has been 10 days only
and I keep sliding on this downward spiral
how painful can it get, is there much lower to go
only you could comfort me, why did you have to go

I wish I had been awake when you died
there I was so exhausted after being up two nights
I slept and I can oly guess what happened
I hope you were not trying to wake me
the last time I got you a drink
I cant remember, did you ask me to stay up
you knew you were going and you would not tell me
I would have faced it with you my love,
if only I had realized it was so close

nothing seems to help the pain
i think if i go somewhere it will help
then i get there and think i should just go home
but i wont complain because you never did
you suffered so much
how did you do it
i am not doing so well
i try to think of what you would do
but they dont have pain medicane for this kind of hurt

i am so glad you said you forgave my faults
you were so patient with me
i wish things could have been easier
people were so cold hearted
they could not see
you were not crippled on the inside

we did well in an impossible situation
you knew what to say to me
i knew how to comfort you
it was magic

im so scared Eric
who do i care for now
i dont want to go on
i dont want the world to keep spinning

im not afraid the world will end
im afraid it will keep spinning
and i will have to wait until im a old lady
to die and be with you again

please my love let me feel your presence
i am not so good at that
but i think if i could feel anyone it would be you
dont forget you are my everything

your wife forever Heather

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