Posted by Bruce on October 14, 2001 at 05:19:25:
In Reply to: The Waffle Iron . . . posted by AK on August 17, 2001 at 21:33:24:
Your story of the waffle iron revived a memory I've not in years. I lost Susan, suddenly and without without warning, to pneumonia in 1989. Two months and one day before our 17th anniversary. After that, our 16-year-old son and I learned gradually how to make life work without her. But there was so much fear, so much doubt, so much loneliness, for sad a long time. It faded, but it never entirely goes away.
Anyway, the story of the waffle iron brought back a night about two weeks after the funeral. I was making one of our little family's favorite simple dinners–burritos–while my son chatted and played a computer game at the same time. Burritos used to be one of Susan's...most of my dishes involved Kraft macaroni and cheese.
So I'm standing there, stirring the refried beans, and the thought just came pouring down on me that I was doing this simple, ordinary thing that I had watched her do so many times. I was doing it because she would never be there to do it, never again in this world. I broke down right there. Started crying and sort of stirring. And I remember telling the stove, "I want her back."
My son came into the kitchen, turned off the stove, and hugged his father. We stood in the kitchen and cried and missed Susan. And eventually pulled ourselves somewhat back together. Eventually, dinner got cooked, and eaten. Eventually, life went on, and somehow, so did we.