Posted by Evalani on July 25, 2001 at 12:04:27:
This message is out there for all the recent widow's out there. I became a widow at the tender age of 29. My husband passed away in a motorcycle accident April 1,2000 he was active Duty (airforce). Our Twins soon followed 4 months later. The Twins managed to hang in there for 4 days until God saw fit to take them unto his gracious as well.
When all this first happened to me I was a basket case I couldnt put into words what was all going through my head besides the fact that I lost my best friend of 9yrs & husband of 6yrs. He was my everything to me, he was that second breath, that last word of encouragement & the one to make me laugh when I was unhappy. I seemed to be left with all these broken pieces that I didnt know how to glue them together more a less go on with my own existance.The hurt/pain/anger/betrayal/bitterness and rage were all so overwheming. I just couldnt come to terms with his death or baby's. I wanted that nightmare to end.
After livng on & without allowing my brain to accept his loss & our baby's. My Brain finally snapped and came to realize it wasnt a nightmare, I went Crazy/batty what ever you may wish to call it. I tried to kill myself by taking 3 bottles of sleeping pills slashing my wrists.
I had a near death experience, At that time I didnt realize what it was until I woke up in the hospital ER room. I had been pronounced dead 3 different times. What I thought was a dream, was actually what some may call near death experience.But I had made a promise to my husband to take care of our last daughter who was 4yrs old and to promise him to take life one day at a time.
I have finially learned to take it one day at a time and also realized to not take life for granted. I have managed to move on with my life finally.
God may have closed one door but he in return opened many more for me.
Time does Heal Just dont give up !!
Pryers are with all that have lost.....
Evalani R.