Posted by Tanya Boyle on May 29, 2001 at 22:40:25:
In Reply to: COMPLETE SHOCK RECENTLY WIDOWED posted by SANDRA on May 03, 2001 at 16:56:17:
Sandra,
I remember those feelings only too well. My husband died two years ago (May 27th) the day before his 30th birthday. I was 26, my daughter was 4 and my son was a month away from turning 2.
Together we have grieved and grown. We have taken comfort in each other. Out of the tragedy of losing him, we have found strength in each other and you too may be surprized at the strength you will discover within yourself.
My children are doing incredibly well as I am sure your children will too. We talk about Danny a lot. Our angel who looks over us from heaven and who will live in our hearts forever.
Yesterday, would have been Danny's 32nd birthday. Last year we baked an angel food cake and celebrated his birthday at the grave. The kids sang Happy Birthday and "helped him" blow out the candles. They laughed and played and later that night I cried until I didn't think I would have any tears left to cry again. This year we did it again and it was just as wonderful and just as painful as the last.
Coping is not easy. I just hope that I can offer some comfort in this....my children will never "know" their father in the physical sense. But I am truly amazed by what they do remember about him and by keeping his memory alive and talking with them about him, they get to know him through me.
I think the most important thing you can do, is talk about it. Talk with others who can truly understand what it is you are going through and help you and your children.
If there is anything I can do....please email me and I will do anything I can to help you.
Sincerely,
Tanya