Posted by Joyce on May 08, 2001 at 15:20:01:
In Reply to: Re: widows and widowers posted by andrea geller on January 21, 19100 at 04:39:27:
This is the month of pain! I lost my darling Arthur on January 4,2000. His birthday and our wedding anniversary are both this month.
My husband had such life and was the most outgoing between the two of us. My family is very small and his family is huge. I have not heard from his family since February of last year.
We could not have children. I am 38 years old and I don't know how to go on, I don't know if even I am greiving properly. I am reading a lot of books because all my friends have never experieced a death so young. Sometimes I feel like a fifth wheel. People say,it is just like being divorced and I need to move on. I not sure how to do that when I am still crying at the drop a hat!!
My family looks to me for strength. I have always been strong when my mother died of breast cancer and when My husband was diagnosed with his heart problem at such a young age. I am soooo confused and I just don't know what to do with my life I feel a lot of day to day things are just meaningless, a chasing after the wind. I feel no man will ever want a relationship with me and I am not so sure I will ever be ready. There is no help and financially I am in mess. There is no help for myself and my health problems are mounting besides my hair falling out from stress. I am at a point where I don't care about anything, from my hair clothes, or apartment. I though about going back to school but there are no grants to help. How do you rise above when you feel like you are drowning and deep down you really want?
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