Posted by Beverly Bridge on March 26, 2001 at 23:28:03:
In Reply to: This is the first time I've talked about this, so please lend an ear. posted by Iris on March 26, 2001 at 21:28:08:
Hi Iris. My name is Beverly and I have been widowed 81/2 years. I lead the Widowed Young Person's Support Group in Seattle, Wa., and this website was created about 41/2 years ago by a widow in our group. I'm glad you've found this site and I hope you'll go to some other sites- widownet.com is also very helpful. There is no way to go through the grief except to go through the grief, and everyone does it in their own way, in their own time frame. The suddeness and traumatic way lalo died must have been truly awful, although the death of any loved one is awful because they are gone forever and we lose all our dreams of what was to be, as well as our best friend and lover. There are some really good books- if you are ready to read: Judith Tatabuam's The Courage to Grieve, Companion Through the Darkness by Stephanie Ericsson, Good Grief by Granger Westburg, I'm Grieving as Fast As I Can( don't know the author) A Grace Disguised ( don't know the author) Anyway- I encourage you to read. If you want to give me your mailing address I will send you some articles on grief that will let you know how it is often experienced. I'm glad you are seeing someone. Perhaps you can start journaling about your grief. If you are seeing someone and have found this site, I suspect you are finally letting yourself know what is going on. The anniversary is only another day- altho you may want to mark it in a special way. You will miss him before the anniversay of his death and after. Your loss will not go away and it takes a long time- often several years- before you are not in such deep pain. I hope you can eventually make contact again with Angus and your family.