Posted by JODIE on January 24, 2001 at 07:28:54:
In Reply to: Re: The Phoenix self-help group for young widows & widowers posted by vicky on May 18, 2000 at 10:02:27:
It my be to late to even write to this group,
but I just found this site. I don't even know what
I am supposed to put in this letter. I just know
that it helped me TREMENDOUSLY just knowing that
I wasn't the only person in the world with the
'strange' emotions that were going on inside me.
Maybe this will help someone else out there.
I am 38 and I lost my husband one year ago.
I awoke four days after Christmas to my husband
in the bed beside me having a heart attack at the
age of 43. I called 911 & did cpr. Less than an
hour after arriving at the hospital with my three
sons, the doctor gave us the horrible news that we
would be going home alone. Now I am the single
parent of three teenage boys, living 2 1/2 hours
away from our nearest relative. When he died, I
felt so totally alone in the world. I felt like
the rest of the world had just gone on with thier
lives and left me at the cemetary searching for
a special treasure that my heart kept telling me
I could not leave in that place. I was leaving
half of myself. (we were married 19 1/2 years)
I knew that I would not be able to make it thru
the day without the other half. I thank God that
I had taught my boys to do chores and cook a
little, because for the first 3 or 4 months, they
took over. They did all of the cooking and
cleaning and getting themselves to and from
school. They made grocery lists even telling how
many to buy. My mind was gone. I couldn't think
well enough to know WHAT needed to be done, much
less do it.
We have made it past all of the FIRSTS without
him. I felt such a relief when that year was over.
I felt like I had fought the bad guys, and I WON.
Don't missunderstand, there are many tissues used
in my bedroom. The war is not over by any means,
but I came out on top after round one.
I would love to talk to anyone that is in the same
place in life that I am in.
Best wishes and God Bless you all.
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