Posted by Marie on January 11, 2001 at 12:21:34:
In Reply to: Holidays and Special Occasions posted by Janice on January 10, 2001 at 22:41:20:
When you found this site...you found lots of people that can relate....and most of....will talk to you.
I know the anger you are feeling towards the medical profession. When my husband's cancer returned after seven years...he asked the Dr. what that meant for him as far as "time" goes. The Dr. told us then...that he had nothing to worry about. That he was not going to die from this. That if we did nothing at all....he would not die from it. He would be in quite a bit of pain...but assured us that he would not die from it. Thinking back...I could kick myself all the way to China and back for believing something like that. How in the hell could a Dr. tell a patient something like that? I mean, it's CANCER...anything could happen! My husband was paralyzed from the waist down within three weeks. Gone forever 12 weeks later. So...yes...I am also very angry at the medical profession. But I am also angry at myself for not asking more questions and getting other opinions before it was too late. It's just that we thought we had nothing to worry about. He had battled it before....and this Dr. was making this time sound like it would be a walk in the park. How naive we were.
The holiday's were also very difficult for me. I was in a depression for the entire month of December and have just recently...like two days ago....starting feeling some of that lift. For me though...it really wasn't so much the "holiday's" as it was that it was the most difficult month when my husband was ill. He spent that whole month in ICU, paralyzed from the neck down, on a respirator and so drugged up he never even knew we were there. I have 10 years of wonderful memories with him...and yet..all I can think of....is that month in the hospital.
Even though you may feel alone...and have no one right there to comfort you...I hope you find some comfort in knowing that there are people here who understand...and will always listen. I have found that writing your feelings down and venting really does help. Granted...it's not an immediate fix to the way you are feeling...but over time...it will help to ease the pain and the anger and all those other horrible feelings that we experience with the loss of a loved one.
One day at a time, Janice....
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